The Break Up
September 11th 2006 13:16
Breaking up is hard to do… well, except when it’s easy.
Taffy did come back, eventually. So she wasn’t swallowed up by the night and rain like an arty movie ending. And so we kind of talked. ‘The Talk’ actually. It was nice, amicable, mutual. Ok, it did hurt a little, because we’d been so close, and shared those experiences and really cared about each other.
Mostly though, I felt an amazing sense of lightness. When you’re in a relationship sometimes it feels like the other person is sending little tendrils inside your head. I mean, there’s lots of hugging and kissing and affectionate stuff that goes on on the outside, but inside they stake out a piece too, sending little shoots into everything. Somehow even your thoughts aren’t all your own anymore, because there’s always another person there demanding consideration and attention.
It can be fantastic, tripping along on that happy painkiller that is love and infatuation. But what I was tasting was pure mental freedom, and all I wanted to do was stretch and explore all the nice empty places inside my head. Feel totally comfortable and alone in my own skin again.
Well, not all the consideration is eradicated, even when you mutually agree it’s over. Especially when your recently ex-girlfriend is going to be there in your narrow single bed all night, and the next day, and the next night. Well, she might leave the bed at some point during the day, but it’s not a thing to count on.
So I suppose even when the breaking up is easy, it’s the aftermath that you have to worry about.
Taffy did come back, eventually. So she wasn’t swallowed up by the night and rain like an arty movie ending. And so we kind of talked. ‘The Talk’ actually. It was nice, amicable, mutual. Ok, it did hurt a little, because we’d been so close, and shared those experiences and really cared about each other.
Mostly though, I felt an amazing sense of lightness. When you’re in a relationship sometimes it feels like the other person is sending little tendrils inside your head. I mean, there’s lots of hugging and kissing and affectionate stuff that goes on on the outside, but inside they stake out a piece too, sending little shoots into everything. Somehow even your thoughts aren’t all your own anymore, because there’s always another person there demanding consideration and attention.
It can be fantastic, tripping along on that happy painkiller that is love and infatuation. But what I was tasting was pure mental freedom, and all I wanted to do was stretch and explore all the nice empty places inside my head. Feel totally comfortable and alone in my own skin again.
Well, not all the consideration is eradicated, even when you mutually agree it’s over. Especially when your recently ex-girlfriend is going to be there in your narrow single bed all night, and the next day, and the next night. Well, she might leave the bed at some point during the day, but it’s not a thing to count on.
So I suppose even when the breaking up is easy, it’s the aftermath that you have to worry about.
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Comment by Chantal