On The Horns of a Dilemma
June 1st 2006 06:18
Our newfound resolution didn’t last nearly as long as we thought it would. Somehow, that wily Mr. X just kept wriggling his way into both our lives. For one thing, he’s my bestest of best friends and not likely to disappear anyway. And he seemed to have made quite an impression on Taffy too, since if her conversation was any kind he was never far from her thoughts.
She vacillated between antagonism and somewhat wistful reminiscences on his sexual prowess. In fact, the way she kept talking about him might have made me jealous, only.. well, I don’t get jealous that easily, and I was responsible for them sleeping together anyway. Yes, he declared it the supreme sexual experience of his life, and she kept musing and thinking about it and telling me that he was her idea of the perfect guy (only of course she didn’t want a guy) and- yes, right, no way were we ever going to do it again.
Just a matter of time.
But meanwhile, my vaunted morals were taking a sledgehammering. I did like them both. And just because Taffy didn’t want to play anymore, I wasn’t going to stop seeing him. I would just have to do it alone. He’s my friend. And if my bestest best friend just happens to be someone with whom I was accustomed to having frequent sexual relations with- well, that complicates matters a little. But we didn’t have to sleep together every time we saw each other. Even if we wanted to. Right?
And my girlfriend was three long hours away in Newcastle, and he was right there, and… well. In an ideal world we would have all been holding hands and skipping through a meadow somewhere. But it’s not, and neither are we ideal people. I don’t think it was wrong in itself, but I knew it was wrong because I was always hesitant to tell her I was seeing him. Even if we were just going to a movie. It felt like an affair even if it wasn’t, and I suddenly felt compelled to lie to her- and if there’s anything I detest it’s lying within a relationship.
But then if I was honest she would cry, and it’s not like I love tears and tantrums in a relationship either. What would be the right thing to do?
She vacillated between antagonism and somewhat wistful reminiscences on his sexual prowess. In fact, the way she kept talking about him might have made me jealous, only.. well, I don’t get jealous that easily, and I was responsible for them sleeping together anyway. Yes, he declared it the supreme sexual experience of his life, and she kept musing and thinking about it and telling me that he was her idea of the perfect guy (only of course she didn’t want a guy) and- yes, right, no way were we ever going to do it again.
Just a matter of time.
But meanwhile, my vaunted morals were taking a sledgehammering. I did like them both. And just because Taffy didn’t want to play anymore, I wasn’t going to stop seeing him. I would just have to do it alone. He’s my friend. And if my bestest best friend just happens to be someone with whom I was accustomed to having frequent sexual relations with- well, that complicates matters a little. But we didn’t have to sleep together every time we saw each other. Even if we wanted to. Right?
And my girlfriend was three long hours away in Newcastle, and he was right there, and… well. In an ideal world we would have all been holding hands and skipping through a meadow somewhere. But it’s not, and neither are we ideal people. I don’t think it was wrong in itself, but I knew it was wrong because I was always hesitant to tell her I was seeing him. Even if we were just going to a movie. It felt like an affair even if it wasn’t, and I suddenly felt compelled to lie to her- and if there’s anything I detest it’s lying within a relationship.
But then if I was honest she would cry, and it’s not like I love tears and tantrums in a relationship either. What would be the right thing to do?
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Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
In your position, I'd ditch the girl... she's too demanding, too controlling. Who needs those chains?
Comment by angela
Comment by Matt
It's a tough call, glad it's you and not me!
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Lia
But thank you for your insights- in a scary way all three of you are right. Well, not so scary from Angela. I love your optimism, that's exactly how I hope everything can work out!