Invitations
June 21st 2006 10:34
Invitations are a tricky thing. They get tangled and snarled very quickly. If you’re not struggling over whom to invite, it’s not always easier to be invited.
Life is just that much trickier in a polyamorous relationship. Say you’re doing research on hedonistic pleasures… you might try a long bubble bath with Mr. X, always complicated by the fact that he’s so long… of leg, not to imply anything. And that’s fine and dandy with the foam and the candles. But then you have to make it up to Taffy with a long morning spent moisturising every inch.. because moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.. are you following me? Anyway, it’s a hardship.
So some jealousies can be soothed with lots of lavish attention. But then you, or in this case I, get invited to a birthday party. It’s my cousin’s 19th, and of course I wasn’t going to be excluded. The last time I’d seen her was at my own 19th, and on that occasion she’d been introduced to Mr. X as my long-term boyfriend. And it was all lovely. But in the intervening months I’d neglected to relay the information that officially, Mr. X and I were no longer official.
Oops. And so when my cousin told me it would be nice if I brought my boyfriend. I didn’t really have a clever answer. I mean, most of my family didn’t know that I had a girlfriend. She made it worse by explaining how nice it was for everyone to get to know each other’s ‘significant others’. And all my family had really liked Mr. X.
So what was I supposed to do? After all, he was still my bestest of best friends. My bubble bath friend. And he wouldn’t think it weird if I invited him. Taffy probably would though. She was my significant other after all. She had official status, except within our families. I could always just bring her as my ‘friend’. But would that look strange? Or I could just come out with a blaze of glory over dinner.
Or, maybe not. Gossip would spread so fast, great-aunts and uncles I’d never met would be tutting and shaking their heads over this bizarre growth on my family tree. Gayness is supposed to be hereditary you understand, but so far I’d be the first person to display any symptoms.
Yes, invitations are tricky things. Who to take, who to leave, and who can come up with brilliant excuses not to come. I took the coward’s route by smiling, nodding, and not going. But you can’t evade family functions forever.
Life is just that much trickier in a polyamorous relationship. Say you’re doing research on hedonistic pleasures… you might try a long bubble bath with Mr. X, always complicated by the fact that he’s so long… of leg, not to imply anything. And that’s fine and dandy with the foam and the candles. But then you have to make it up to Taffy with a long morning spent moisturising every inch.. because moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.. are you following me? Anyway, it’s a hardship.
So some jealousies can be soothed with lots of lavish attention. But then you, or in this case I, get invited to a birthday party. It’s my cousin’s 19th, and of course I wasn’t going to be excluded. The last time I’d seen her was at my own 19th, and on that occasion she’d been introduced to Mr. X as my long-term boyfriend. And it was all lovely. But in the intervening months I’d neglected to relay the information that officially, Mr. X and I were no longer official.
Oops. And so when my cousin told me it would be nice if I brought my boyfriend. I didn’t really have a clever answer. I mean, most of my family didn’t know that I had a girlfriend. She made it worse by explaining how nice it was for everyone to get to know each other’s ‘significant others’. And all my family had really liked Mr. X.
So what was I supposed to do? After all, he was still my bestest of best friends. My bubble bath friend. And he wouldn’t think it weird if I invited him. Taffy probably would though. She was my significant other after all. She had official status, except within our families. I could always just bring her as my ‘friend’. But would that look strange? Or I could just come out with a blaze of glory over dinner.
Or, maybe not. Gossip would spread so fast, great-aunts and uncles I’d never met would be tutting and shaking their heads over this bizarre growth on my family tree. Gayness is supposed to be hereditary you understand, but so far I’d be the first person to display any symptoms.
Yes, invitations are tricky things. Who to take, who to leave, and who can come up with brilliant excuses not to come. I took the coward’s route by smiling, nodding, and not going. But you can’t evade family functions forever.
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