Love is in essence indescrible heartaching pain. The pain of not knowing, the pain of not being able to tell or express your inner feeling, emotions and self, the pain of not being accepted, the pain in the fear of being rejected, the pain of being seperated, the pain of loss, the pain of it not working out, the pain of it not going to plans, the pain of in the lack of happyiness and joy experienced, the pain of the pain in the experience of love itself. The excruciating irrational temperament ones goes through, the tumultutous tyrade of emotional anquish, the pain of being insecure, the pain of lacking any self control, the pain of acting out of stupidity, the pain of not being yourself, the pain of it all really infused together that sums the expereince of love as in all a painful experience.
Does he love me, does he love me but not able to tell me, does he just like me more that friend and not love me at. Or is he just trying to make me think that he like me or might love me. Or is just wanting my attention and not wanting anything more than that. Or is he in love with me but wanting to leave it at that and never actually reveal his true feelings. Does he have no intention of telling me what he is thinking and feeling. Will he ever tell me how he feels. Will he ever reveal his true intentions. Does he or doesnt he questionin indefitntely sought out. As these seemingly never-ending rambled thought makings go over and over inside your head in seeking some sort rationalised answer ot these such irrational concucted questions. What do you make of these irrational feelings in order to translate them into a rational thinking process. That is the turbulent emotional momentenous convulsion of all these emotions and what to make of them. As it does ones mind inside and out. Trying to make sense of it all, the impossibility of coming to some rationalised conclusion. As the distrastrous outlay of emotions continue and being unable to make sense of any of your feelings and how you rationally feel about your love-life as it stands.
'Do i hate him or love him' a truly confused and conflicted state. When you cannot decide whether you youre in love with him or you cannot stand him. Just an infatuation with the idea that what is driving this affair is that the fact that he gets under your skin. Why cant you stand the thought of being with him, yet feel a sense of love towards him. 'I just want him to hold me' or is it 'Why cant he leave me alone'. An infused state of dislike and affection at the same time. Why is that you cant make up your mind? Why are you confused? Why wont my subconscious let it be. Maybe if the subconscious stopped interfering i would be able to come to rational decision that is not emotionally split. You either like him and are in love with him or you dislike him and want nothing to do with him. Well only if it were that simple then you would be in the subconscious 'love him or loath him' state of conflict.
For many researchers and health experts have been prompted to ask what is happened to the female libido and where has it gone. Instead of focusing on what can be done to get back the female libidio and increasing the female libido drived, focus should most importantly be placed on what is suppressing the female libido. Maybe it is not about what has happended to libido or where it has gone but what is preventing it from being released and expressed. In sum making the debate more about releasing the female libido from the inner wounds of whatever it is that is preventing it from being made visible. As Freud and Jung maintained the libidio inevitably always exists the point is that it can become hidden whereby it not made visible that results in it not being used or acknowledged by the conscious. So it becomes part of the unconcious instead of the subconcsious and conscious. Making it tainted unearthed and unused. As the libidio must be released and not suppressed for it to be made visible. Accordly maybe the libidio is never lost but just not made visable. That is because the female libidio can be left in sublimated state that is left unattended to.
Why is it that you cant just make up your mind over whether you are in love with him, or just plain delusional. You think that youre in love with when youre not. Your conscious says yes while the subconscious keeps yelling 'you must be joking' followed by 'are you mad'. Why do you even think for one second that you like him for that matter. What really is it about him that makes you believe that you are deeply in love with him. Just another cover up for how desperate you are for some affection. To satsify an inner yearning to be with someone that will never come full circle. Is just another irrate psychological state that no-one including yourself can understand. Or is it because no-one knows exacty what being in love is. A complete and total subconscious trait that exists to refute the concept of being in love all together. For that is why it is always there to remind you 'what were you thinking' while telling you that being in love is just termperal mental state that has no bearing over you whatsoever. A complete form of illusion that is felt to make one feel better about them self in times of desperate need. Where the consicous thought of being in love compensates for the delusion in the first place.
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